GOODS: objects
WE DO NOT PRODUCE OBJECTS TO CLUTTER YOUR EVERMORE CLUTTERED LIFE. WE PRODUCE GOODS AND SERVICES DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU THE VERY BEST OBJECT YOU CAN BE
Thank you for joining us in the Objects section of the MMHTT. In this section we focus our efforts—through the research and development of goods and services—to support our constituents' efforts to be the very best gifted givers they can be. To inquire about price lists and availability, please click HERE.
The MMHTT have been working with the son of the great inventor and entrepreneur Harold Von Braunhut- who is most famous for inventing instant life with his great creation Sea Monkeys. We are cross-breeding his famous little creatures with Spookfish- a small deepsea creature with very large and remarkably interconnected eyes- to produce a new species of Sea Monkeys with equally large and remarkable eyes: eyes to see as it were! We call them See Monkeys. Pick up a new supply of See Monkey eggs today.
These little explosive bundles contain gunpowder made with feces produced by male albino peacocks. Now, weaponizing bird poo is nothing we innovated. It is a very old recipe that involves collecting, concentrating, leaching, evaporating and then mixing with sulphur. Our innovation is producing these little instruments of love with male, albino peacock crap. Male albino peacocks, and the feces they produce, are important to art appreciation and factor in heavily to art-historical iconography because their tail feathers have many supernaturally sighted eyes; the flesh of a peacock is believed to never decay; and because they are flightless birds, they recognize the benefit of participating in local radical community! These bang snaps have been shown to help activate the space between gifted-givers
The MMHTT Home Heart Kit is a must-have tool for any young art appreciators. This home heart kit allows one to successfully circumsize one's own heart. Many botched heart circumcisions have turned generations of good citizens against art appreciation. This kit is a sure thing every time! Coming next year, the MMHTT Home Heart Kit will have an added feature that helps turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh.
The MMHTT Eyes-to-See glasses are equipped with lenses made of salt harvested from evaporated human tears.
A companion to the glasses is our Ears-to-Hear earplugs made of real human earwax.
Both of these items have been developed in response to data that shows it is exactly through sensory deprivation that hyper-sensorial evolution accelerates.
Both of these items have been developed in response to data that shows it is exactly through sensory deprivation that hyper-sensorial evolution accelerates.
The MMHTT has worked in collaboration with sound guru- and himself a bird- Christopher Koch to create a cutting edge ornithologic curriculum that teaches your bird to preach the word. Think about it, instead of coming down the stairs in the morning to incoherent and abusive sounds from your bird, this curriculum will teach your bird to chirp "words" of deep affirmation and encouragement in Morse code. Recently released studies show that the rhythm of your heartbeat naturally synchronizes to the beautiful rhythm of Morse code. So even if you do not know what your bird is saying to you, their chirping will have edifying and encouraging effects that you will carry with you for rest of your busy day.
Let your heart be not troubled! Let the sound of your bird's encouraging chirp reverberate through its hollow bones and resonate in your heart of hearts!
For a sample of this tremendous service, please listen to this one, well-trained Eastern Goldfinch chirping in Morse code the Nicene Creed. (What a show-off!)
Let your heart be not troubled! Let the sound of your bird's encouraging chirp reverberate through its hollow bones and resonate in your heart of hearts!
For a sample of this tremendous service, please listen to this one, well-trained Eastern Goldfinch chirping in Morse code the Nicene Creed. (What a show-off!)
TSHIRTS
The MMHTT line of graphic t shirts are ethically produced and are guaranteed to turn heads, hearts and soften the object edges of everyone around you. Select one of the graphics below and purchase your t shirt today.
